Kiya's Journal

First lines memething

lilairen@livejournal.com — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 02:30:35 GMT

For lack of anything better to do, here's a first songlines thing. Everyone else is doing 32 in a row, but I got distracted by a shiny object (and releasing the Wrath of Sarge) so I just did 22, skipping instrumentals, which I was getting a lot of.

So, on to the game.

1) ~~Laudate, omnes gentes, laudate / Magnificat in saecula~~ oneironaut
2) ~~Before this dance is through / I think I'll love you too~~ elizabif
3) In every life / It has been said / There comes a time to join the dead
4) ~~I wasn't looking for a lover / I wasn't looking for a friend~~ rosefox
5) ~~Mr. Kokosko, it just happened again / Sad, so sad~~ alsafi
6) ~~We pretend to be afraid / Underneath our twilight~~ whispercricket
7) ~~When all that's left to do is / Reflect on what's been done~~ elizabif
8) Find yourself in the gutter in a lonely part of town
9) ~~[ ... ] her harlequin hovers nearby / Awaiting a word~~ elizabif
10) ~~Can you feel the breath of the observer / Can you hear the quanta calling back?~~ tiger_spot
11) ~~Forty-four's no age to start again / But the bulls were getting tough and he was never free of pain~~ sigerson
12) ~~Now I will tell you what I've done for you / Fifty thousand tears I've cried~~ oneironaut, whispercricket, meranthi
13) ~~When the ship runs out of ocean / And the vessel runs aground~~ sigerson
14) Ready / Darkness cover me / I'm not ready to die, girl
15) I used to live in New York City / Everything there was dark and dirty
16) Even on the darkest night when empty promise means empty hand
17) I came home one August evening / Stepped out of my back door / And noticed a big peach tree / I'd never seen before
18) ~~I wanted to be with you alone / And talk about the weather~~ sigerson
19) All alone, staring on / Watching her life go by
20) ~~You read about Samson / you read about his birth~~ redbird, technicality
21) ~~It's getting near dawn / When lights close their tired eyes~~ elizabif
22) I'm dancing in the shadows of life / and death is all around me tonight

GIP, or something

lilairen@livejournal.com — Sat, 20 Sep 2008 20:57:50 GMT

I'm in a weird, fey sort of mood today. Probably in part as a result of what I'm thinking of as Operation Unhappy Puppy on W20 Tribal Wars, in honor of which I have made this icon.

My dreams are weird lately.

lilairen@livejournal.com — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 18:30:51 GMT

Last night's featured running into miz_evolution in a bike shop in my standard dreamscape city (which was claiming to be Montreal, but really, it wasn't) and discussing subway routes, the open air market, and where the red light district was.

Tonight's Miscellaneous Theatre of the Gloriously Out of Context

lilairen@livejournal.com — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 06:23:22 GMT

If only I'd known that five years ago I should have invested in a solid gold badger....

Ninja Lugh has throwing suns.

You need to spend your etymology on something better than cheap whores!

Your megalomaniacal streak is cute.

(All speakers either me or arawen.)

Flames of Incandescent Terror

lilairen@livejournal.com — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 23:33:43 GMT

"Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword."

Love is radical.

It is time for us to acknowledge that our love is an act of war.

It seems distasteful to say. It feels wrong. Our love, our lives, our nurtured gardens and families, we say, these are not weapons. These are not acts of violence. To us, they are not.

Love is radical.

Love is radical, and I light a candle to shed red-glass light on Lilitu's owl-clawed feet, because today I am a child of the Mother of Demons. My love will shake the world, fan out like the peacock fan that spreads behind Her and glows in the firelight in honor of strife and compassion.

Love is radical, and its tears will extinguish Hell, but only if we burn with it. It is not enough to love quietly, mousily, in the safe spaces, because love is radically unsafe. Love will throw you through Hell and walk with you on the hike out. Love does not let you hide behind walls, it will slice you open, it will make you bleed.

Love is an act of blood. Love is an act of bone. It is your breath.

I am a child of the Mother of Demons. My love will rip up the foundations of the world if need be. It will tear apart your safe spaces. It will not let me be silent. My love is a claimed conspiracy to riot stashed in a jail cell awaiting judgement in Minnesota. My love does not wait for a permit or follow an established route. It is here now there then always not with a whimper but a bang and if your world is ending for it then remember that love will divide your families, set kith against kith and kin against kin, that you were warned and said you believed.

I am a child of the Mother of Demons. My love roars like the hollow wind. My love comes for the children. It does not listen to the doors. My love sees people married without checking their genitalia at the door, without evaluating the colour of their skin, without seeing if they have a hollowness that will be filled with a baby. My love sings and screams and goes to the ballot box dancing with the joy of holiness.

I am a child of the Mother of Demons. I walk a warrior path of love, and follow the song of my heart. I hold sunlight in my right hand and shadow and storm in my left, and am born of the serpent's dance with the falcon. I have the restored Eye and I offer it to you, that you may live.

I am a child of the Mother of Demons. I am one of the ones to fear, who goes stealthy through today in my cat-print pyjamas passing for one of you normal ones, the sane ones, the pretty children who went to school and then to the university and got put in boxes and came out all the same. I am the pervert among you, the polytheist, the deviant, the one whose world is wider than you can face, I stand at the open door in the desert from which there is no return.

There is no male or female, no free or slave, no line of race or creed or colour in love. Fear me, for I love you.

[ Apologies to those who get it twice. It matters enough to risk my semi-anonymity on the blog. ]

Roll up for the Mystery Tour ...

lilairen@livejournal.com — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 04:35:51 GMT

A rogue piece of my brain is trying to piece together shamanic experience filtered through Beatles music.

Man, being a grownup is great.

lilairen@livejournal.com — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 05:15:02 GMT

Working on writing something for loveandpower, wound up with urge for hot buttered popcorn.

So I went and put some on the stove.

OMG.

lilairen@livejournal.com — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 00:42:45 GMT

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

Little Light analyses Huckabee's speech at the RNC.

And lets us know that street medics are getting arrested too.

Looks like the Correspondence nexus in Pandemonium moved just fine ...

lilairen@livejournal.com — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 05:28:29 GMT

.... I ran into Otavia.

Who I haven't seen in about thirteen years.

She looks fantastic, and the purple in her hair is quite lovely.

Met her husband too.

Life continues weird.

... okay then.

lilairen@livejournal.com — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 20:23:14 GMT

... my TSH level is 2-ish, as of last month.

I think it was in April that it was 3.5.

Last year it was 5.5.

My body: put together weird.

(I should get a thyroxin molecule too. This is serotonin.)

Ah yes. Finding verse forms is a pain.

lilairen@livejournal.com — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 23:34:55 GMT

We're going to blank some verse today
That's never been blunk before
And every time
We make a rhyme
It figures against the score ...

-- Walt Kelly

Growl

lilairen@livejournal.com — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 03:01:53 GMT

Dear Microsoft Word:

Stop helping me.

Quizdump

lilairen@livejournal.com — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 22:06:52 GMT

Not many, but hey.

As a 1930s wife, I am
Superior

Take the test!

As a 1930s husband, I am
Superior

Take the test!

Not bad, aside from failing on introversion ....

Your result for The Perception Personality Image Test...

HBPC - The Visionary

Humanity, Background, Big Picture, and Color

You perceive the world with particular attention to humanity. You focus on the hidden treasures of life (the background) and how that fits into the larger picture. You are also particularly drawn towards the colors around you. Because of the value you place on humanity, you tend to seek out other people and get energized by being around others. You like to ponder ideas and imagine the many possibilities of your life without worrying about the details or specifics. You are in tune with all that is around you and understand your life as part of a larger whole. You are a down-to-earth person who enjoys going with the flow.

The Perception Personality Types:

Take The Perception Personality Image Test at HelloQuizzy

I'm-a just gonna say "Hethert-Nut and Set, I keep sayin'."

Created by: Sobeq

Quiz results:

Which Egyptian God(dess) Are YOU?

You scored as a Nut

You are Nut (Nuit)! Nut is the Mother of the Night Sky. She is said to eat the sun every night and to give birth to it every morning. She carries the dead in her belly as stars. She is warm and caring, and embraces the dead after they die. She is depicted as a nude woman with blue skin covered in stars, arching over her husband, Geb. Her animal is the sow.

Hethert

80%

Nut

80%

Set

80%

Heru-wer

75%

Nit

75%

Bast

75%

Sekhmet

70%

Amun

70%

Nebthet

60%

Djehuty

55%

Wesir

55%

Serqet

55%

Seshat

50%

Ptah

50%

Yinepu

50%

Wepwawet

50%

Heru-sa-Aset

45%

40%

Bes

40%

Aset

40%

Meanwhile, out in the real world ....

lilairen@livejournal.com — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 19:12:54 GMT

Read this piece on the situation in Georgia.

"What horrifies is me is not just the violence, as if it isn’t bad enough, but the fact that being ethnically half-Russian and half-Ukrainian, I grew knowing that the Georgians are our friends. I grew up in a household in love with Georgian culture. To my Russian mother, Georgia was “the most beautiful place in the world,” and she wasn’t alone in this by far."

Sometimes, I just have to laugh.

lilairen@livejournal.com — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 04:26:25 GMT

Just copying my explanation of the funny from overlandmush rather than retype, 'cause I'm lazy.

Whitney laughs and laughs and laughs.
Lavoisier [erispope] mew?
Whitney says, "I'm playing this wargame, okay? Run your medieval army, conquer other towns with i."
Whitney says, "I'm getting to be a power largely by sniping the weak and idle. I pick a weak and idle enemy village and scout it. I can kill what's there, but it'll hurt."
Whitney says, "So I sent some of my weaker forces to start whittling it down a little."
Whitney says, "After I hit this village with 600 axemen, I get mail from its owner. Not saying, as you might expect, 'You *saw* how many troops I had and you hit me with *that*?', but, 'So, hey, you want my village? I'm not really playing. I'll send my forces elsewhere to make your life easier.'"
Whitney says, "This is not the funny thing."
Whitney says, "The funny thing is that today -- a couple of days after my response to him -- I get more mail from him, saying, more or less, 'I've sent my troops to beat up this guy. Once I've weakened him, please kill him, he's a jerk.'"
Whitney says, "Said jerk? On my targets list. Has slightly too many troops to crack easily."
Brooks [brooksmoses] says, "Dude. That's hilarious."
Whitney says, "Isn't it great?"
Brooks says, "Yup."
Whitney is laughing so much.
Whitney says, "I pick the *best* targets. ;)"

In other Tribal Wars amusements, I've impressed MattyJ (founder of Dr. No Revolution, the reasonably fearsome and highly aggressive tribe that teinedreugan played in in W19) with my ability to generate ridiculous quantities of troops. He posted something to the effect of, "Dude, is it just me, or is she vicious? Not to be a jerk here, but I'm ... pleasantly surprised." (Dear Matty: no, teinedreugan didn't get me into your organisation just 'cause I'm His Gurl. Surprise!)

In other news, shrink back from vacation, so normal Tuesday schedule may soon resume. Had conversation today mostly about me flipping out which was overall stunningly useful.

ETA: ... Matty set my tribe position to 'busy farming you'. DED.

Points for the day

lilairen@livejournal.com — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 01:20:59 GMT

+ found a magazine with a bunch of gluten-free bread recipes when getting food for dinner
+ made a reasonably successful stirfry
+ finished project for work
+ mostly mood-stable, if a lazy bastard
+ my stargazers are blooming still

- guts still not entirely happy with the meds update
----- teinedreugan broke my dryad statue (the most successful of my elemental spirits statues series) (currently working on mending her as best as can be done)

Whoa.

lilairen@livejournal.com — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 22:49:48 GMT

whispercricket has deglutened my pantry.

I will stop muttering that I don't have a garden icon.

lilairen@livejournal.com — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 06:22:14 GMT

Because arawen made me this one.

Photo is of the spiral herb garden/landwight shrine.

I would whine that my house is still full of chametz to get my complaint quota in, but I'm tired of the chametz-whingeing.

Argh.

lilairen@livejournal.com — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 17:30:04 GMT

Default light breakfast/snacky thing contains wheat.

Bloody celiac

lilairen@livejournal.com — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 20:28:03 GMT

Doctor yesterday. A bunch of things of various levels of annoyance, but the one that's irking me at the moment is that my indicator for celiac disease is "elevated". Not diagnostic, but not normal. Regular doctor says, "Hmm, keep an eye on that." Specialist says, "Hmm, maybe that's why your thyroid numbers are wack. Let's work on that."

So I get to move my diet in the direction of gluten-free.

Fucking whee.

ETA: My brother answered his phone!

Brother: Hullo?
Me: Guess who gets to go gluten-free!
Brother: Oh, you're one of us now.

Once more into the breach ....

lilairen@livejournal.com — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 05:04:18 GMT

teinedreugan is a hero of the revolution.

More crazed mysticism has led to another bit of statuary revelation.

Don't ask me how I am; the answer is "Too complicated to explain."

Yeah, I need a garden icon.

lilairen@livejournal.com — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 22:09:16 GMT

Don't have one yet. Must get those pictures of the herb garden/landwight shrine done.

I am a massive burnout case right now. Attempting to control the downturn with lots of omega-3s and the usual accomplishing-of-things, which is made hard by the damned exhaustion. I missed my new moon ritual level of just can't cope; I should probably shower and do that after dark, a few days late, but I know it'll help if I can actually get it done.

I did get the rest of the plants whispercricket and teinedreugan and I dug up from the yard of the stray SCAdian last weekend into the ground, at least, so I won't be sort of anxious about how well they're doing sitting in buckets. The comfrey (which we got into the ground immediately) has recovered, but has also tipped over; I'm not sure what to make of that. It seems happy all fallen over? The periwinkle seems not the worse for wear. The quince looked a bit shaky, but we'll see how it handles it now that it has dirt around its root. The lilacs were in between on the 'coping with being in buckets' front; I wound up digging up some of the giant weeds along the fence and putting lilacs in the resulting holes. I'm hot and sweaty but have gotten some needful stuff done (also straightened up the south-side grape arbor, which was trying to fall over again).

... arawen is here semi-unexpectedly and now he wants to accomplish things. Heh.

Feri Camp NH 2008

lilairen@livejournal.com — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 22:20:34 GMT

There's a lot of stuff in my head, so I'm just going to natter on a bit, honestly.

I was, for one reason or another, a lot less stressed about getting my stuff together for this than I ever was for any of the apprenticeship sessions, and I think that may in part be because I wasn't cooking. I brought some snacks, but that was it. (Never mind that cooking is one of the ways I handle social awkwardness, there was a lot less of that too. I think some of it may be also that after going through the apprenticeship I managed to shake some of the gut-deep conviction that I Don't Belong In A Witchy Gathering and thus could roll with the whole thing.)

arawen brought me up after his final, and stayed for tea before heading home. We ran into ryanfirewitch pretty much immediately upon our arrival. I puttered about looking for Tzeenj, to whom I was lending a book (he wound up lending me three, which means by my family standards he wins). There was miscellaneous conversation for a while; there was opening ritual.

It turned out that Karina and Storm were team-teaching the sex magic path, so we got a two-for-one deal. About which I have very little coherent to say, honestly; a lot of what was in there is pretty much still processing through in my head. Which means I'm left with stuff like "Honey is sweet!" and "Karina paced sunwise and I noticed it every time" and "Storm sounds remarkably lascivious when leading meditations and managed to hit, like, half my kinks in one of them" and "Oo! Strawberries!" which is not, overall, entirely informative.

I went to three of the short sessions -- Michele's on holding a spiritual retreat in one's own space, which left me with some scrawled notes and a tendency to spend the rest of the weekend singing; Storm's on Daimon Lover work, which led to me showing him a chunk of the Pyramid Texts that I posted under lock a day or two before I went to the camp; Karina's discussion session on power and responsibility, which was a lovely rambly exploration of ideas.

Major ritual was fascinating on a number of levels, most of which I can't comment on meaningfully (oo! strawberries!). First time I can recall being present for an actual drawing down, for one. The energetics of that were ... pretty much the same as the energetics of the vision-shape that told me it was time to start studying Feri again, and when I manage to sculpt that I'm told I must share photos. Karina's giant singing bowl is spectacular. ... stuff! The heavens opened when the gods touched.

Failed my save vs. a lovely shiny object. Had a number of conversations about cats, kink, alcohol, Egyptiana, polyamory, various bits of magical theory, and gods. Had one of those weird little god-touched conversations with ryanfirewitch. Had some lovely food. Only had a little more than a half-dozen mosquito bites; hooray my herbal bug juice. Was kissed by a dragonfly.

People sang. Often in harmony.

Jiggety Jig

lilairen@livejournal.com — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 03:28:22 GMT

Safely home.

Have also dug up plants and replanted some of them in a different location, and been groped by a sexy man in a kilt.

Gonna try to catch up on that sleep deficit thing now.

AFK

lilairen@livejournal.com — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 16:16:57 GMT

Almost packed up for Feri Camp in NH. Have remembered many things, including the book I said I'd lend. Am sure I've forgotten something; I guess I'll find out what when I get there.

("So I started out / for god knows where / I guess I'll know / when I get there." Thank you, Kira.)